A letter came in the mail today from the emperor asking for my hand in marriage. I don’t know what to say about it. The last time I saw him was at his birthday ball and from the looks of him I think we would look good together. He is quite handsome,” said Mei, the second eldest daughter of the Feng family.

Mei is a young, fair skinned girl aged 16. Mei was being courted by the young emperor who was in his early 20’s. Mei’s father, Koa Feng, had decided that this emperor was good enough to marry his daughter simply because he was sent 10,000 cowry shells as her dowry.

In his eyes he was rich and the exchange of his daughter was nothing.

The emperor came to the Feng estate looking for the girl that captivated him; the girl that stole his eyes. Looking at her face to face he drowned himself in her beauty. Her eyes were sharp like almonds with long eyelashes that fall over them so sweetly and elegantly. Her hair, almost touching her knees, was long and silky with a very lovely purple hew. To him, it looked like a river at night, dancing with every move she made. She was so slim he felt like if he was to touch her, he would break her. He wanted to give her silks and golds that would make her ever more priceless. At last, he stepped close to her stroking a large strand of her hair. “Hello” he said with a low raspy voice that tickled her ears.“ I've been wanting to see you since the ball. It's finally so nice to see you up close.”

“It's nice to see you too, your highness,” Mei said, as she took a small step back, which caused her hair to move against his hand without losing contact.

“Are you scared of me, Mei ?,” he said as he let go of her hair, letting it fall back to her side. She didn't answer with words, just a small shake of the head. He then took a step back, giving her more space and trying his best to not scare her more. “Mr. Feng, I bought some gifts for my future empress,” he snapped his fingers and some men walked into the estate with a large and heavy chest of gold. Next, they came in with silks of high quality ones that the people of their small town would have never seen if not for him.

“Is this for me? it's far too much," Mei exclaimed as she tried to make the men take it back, placing it with

great delicacy back into their hands.

“Mei, it is rude to do such things to gifts from the emperor, stop now,” her father whispered, trying not to allow his highness to hear.

“Is it not enough for the lady?,” the emperor said with great disappointment.

“No, I assure you that it's more than enough and that she loves it. Isn't that right dear?,” her father said, nudging her to comply.

“Yes, I'd even go as far as saying it's too much,” she chuckled. The emperor displayed a happy, vibrant face.

“In three months time I'll come back for you and the day after we will wed.” A short while after he had tea and left.

A month after her meeting with the emperor, Mei started to have second thoughts after doing some research she had found after the wedding. She realized she will be made to uphold a wedding night ritual of, in her words ,“unholy activities.” She felt as though she wasn't ready for this. “Li, do people really do that after getting married?,” she asked her sister, even though she already knew the answer.

Yes, I did order the right books for you, did I not?,” Li said condescendingly. The looks of this man were slowly falling out of Mei’s thoughts. She no longer wanted to wed him, but she knew she had to because her father had already agreed. As the month passed, she went through preparation to become the empress. Mei took classes to learn to please him, to take care of him, to bear children, and to understand how to help her kingdom.

Two months passed and Mei now feels completely ready to become the new empress. The emperor shows up at the Feng estate in a golden carriage. It's very extravagant; the rims of the wheels are even gold. In that next moment the driver gets out and opens the sparkly white door, which looks to be made of pearls or porcelain, in her eyes. Out steps a man in a well-kept, black silk suit.

As he walked closer her eyes fixated on him looking him up and down then focusing on his face, which is clean and looks to have no facial hair. His cheeks were rosy and his lips like the inside of a strawberry. She became captivated, wanting to know if they tasted like strawberries too. His hair was neat and put into a bun and although she had rather it out than up, she still thought he looked amazing. “Hello again, Mei, so happy to see my lovely betrothed wife,” he said as he grabbed her hand in his, which had many calluses since he was a soldier before becoming king. It was warm and unnatural to her. Then he kissed her hand, the warmth traveling from the back of her hand to her palm up her wrist to her chest and into her lungs. She felt all warm and fuzzy with a small aching feeling in her stomach, almost as though there was something flying around in it.

“Good morrow your highness, the feeling is likewise.” He took her to the carriage, guiding her every step as she steps into the carriage. Her things were loaded into the other carriages by some of the emperor's men. At this moment, she felt like this was a dream. Just four months ago she was playing princess with her sister and the maid. Now she was going to get married the next day. Life around her was changing so much she didn't know what to do or how to react. It was weird for her. Mei started to grow more worried as she waited in the carriage, preparing to leave her estate.

The world felt as though it was spinning right before her. Her heart started to beat faster and faster, her chest began to tighten, feeling as though something was stabbing daggers in it. What's going on, she thought? Slowly, she loses consciousness, tears festering in her eyes before falling one at a time. The emperor finally gets into the carriage, but her mind is still not there.

“Beauty?” he places his hand on hers slowly, her pale face looks up at him. “Why are you crying, dear? You look so sad and lost.” Her eyes are dull, almost as if she's a doll.

Taking a deep breath, she manages to say, “I’m fine, a little dust got in my eyes from the wind.” He looked a tad bit concerned, but believes her and off they went.

The wedding was today. Everything was lively and wonderful but still Mei was awaiting her impending doom. They dressed her seductively so her bust would pop out and her waist would be accentuated. She

waited patiently for the emperor, her new husband. An hour passed, then four hours passed. Soon enough she had fallen asleep. She woke up a little disappointed, believing she didn't look well enough for him. She put her knees to her chest and let the tears fill her nightgown.She was interrupted but a lady in waiting who came to change the bedding and dress her for breakfast. Once she saw his highness at breakfast, she asked about her duties in bed and why did he not show up last night. He shook his head and said he had simply forgotten. He was actually too drunk to do such activities.

A slim-cut woman entered the dining hall. Mei was confused seeing as this was only a place for nobles, not even the maids liked being in there unless it was to exchange plates or fix their master's order. She sat down next to his highness and asked for a plate and is brought one. She ate hew meal seductively with the emperor intently watching her. After a few minutes, the emperor whispers something to her, then leaves. She follows after him a few minutes later, while Mei stays. This happens several times more over the next month, while Mei continues to wake up alone and sad.

One day, the emperor came into Mei’s room as she was being prepared for bed. He sweet talks to her as she's getting her hair combed. He tells her how pretty she is and how lucky he is to have her as his wife. Then they get into the mood and he does their duties with her.

This continues until he got bored with her about four months later. She had not yet gotten bored with him. She wanted to talk to him and try to enjoy his company, but that's not what he was interested in. Every time she tried to talk to him he would find an excuse to go somewhere else, as though he was too busy.

She eventually stopped trying because she felt far too sick to do so. She later found out that she was pregnant. Once she had given birth, nine months later, they discovered her child was a girl. Her husband wanted to kill it, but Mei wanted it even though the child wouldn't be of any use unless she was married off.

Over the span of the next four years, Mei had all girls. Three of them were killed at birth after their gender was discovered. After two years of infertility, Mei had a baby boy and was no longer wanted by the emperor. He would go sleep with the other two women who lived in his palace. Mei soon enough gave up. She stopped trying to get anything out of him. The emperor only cared for the other women, coming to Mei every few months only so no one would raise questions. Mei became an object of show to the court when it came to social events and to keep the court from raising any suspicions.

When you cage a bird, it loses the ability to fly. It becomes down and no longer knows how it wants to exist, giving up its true nature. Caging a bird is like caging a woman to a marriage; they lose interest in things such as outside relationships, freedom, family. They become an object to a man. Feeling fully lost.